What on earth possessed some halfwit in the marketing department of my credit card provider to add to the destruction of the rain forests by sending me an ‘annual credit card summary statement’?
Receiving this particular piece of information in what is laughingly called the morning post has proved more than a little disturbing to Marital Harmony.
‘Total of all Transactions’. In twelve months? Are you kidding? Admittedly, it then goes on to list a whole series of very pleasing zeros for such categories as Annual fees, Default Charges, Interest Paid and so on, but quite frankly they pale into insignificance alongside the headline figure. If Osborne would like to give me an award for massaging the Retail Sales figures, then he might need to hurry up, as I have a feeling my stock is about to plunge elsewhere.
HN has now declared his intention to implement Austerity Measures and achieve a significant reduction in the Budget Deficit. He also intends to congratulate the said halfwit on his initiative in contributing such an enlightening piece of information to the stony fields of Household Maintenance.
He even suggests that there are certain columns missing which would make the form even more enlightening:
Stuff She Has Bought and Used
Stuff She Has Bought and Concealed
Sales and Bargain expenditure
Shoes, clothing (Womens)
Shoes, clothing (Mens)
Items that any normal person would be happy to live without
Wine (as a subset of necessary expenditure on food he likes)
and so on. You get the drift.